I can’t believe I’ve managed to stay sober for 4 whole months. I’m so happy with this one as it’s been a really difficult two weeks and I’ve had some weird feelings that I’ve never experienced before. If you’d have said to me this time last year that in 12 months I’d be living on the Isle of Man and 4 months sober I’d have laughed in your face, admitted I’ll probably never stop drinking and got the beers in.
I’ve lost 20lbs since I stopped drinking and a lot of people think that’s just down to the drink. Believe me, if weight dropped off so easy there would be a lot more people giving up the booze! I haven’t really had to try that much and I’ve carried on eating what I want within reason. I’ve had chocolate every day. Giving up alcohol is one thing but giving up chocolate is a whole other story which is never going to happen! You don’t just stop drinking and all the weight miraculously drops off. All that’s happened is I CAN be arsed to get up in the morning and go for a run, I DO want to get out and about rather than staying in watching Netflix all night. I’ve basically got more energy and more about me so I’m more active. I try to do my 10k steps every day (it’s not happened this week because the weather is awful and I hate being cold) and I’m trying to eat a bit healthier. If I go out for a meal the health kick is out the window and I’ll have whatever I want.
As well as losing weight I’ve learnt quite a bit about myself these last few months:-
- I’ve never grieved for my dad properly
- I’ve never dealt with my anxiety properly
- I’m stronger than I thought I was and need to stop doubting my ability
- I don’t need alcohol to have a good time (I can’t believe I’ve just written that)
- I was drinking for all the wrong reasons
- I can be single and happy
- I need to be less defensive with people
- I’m starting to accept ‘what will be will be’ and I’m worrying less
- I’m overthinking less (alcohol made this a LOT worse)
- I’ve got some unbelievably supportive friends
- Materialism doesn’t matter (I’ve always had ‘stuff’ and I’ve started from scratch with a suitcase of clothes and I’m happier than I’ve ever been)
- I can’t do this on my own and it’s OK to ask/accept help
- I can’t get complacent (it can easily happen)
The grieving is happening and I’m working on the anxiety. I know it’s not going to happen anytime soon but I’m just taking each day as it comes.
I have to go now as I’m going out to celebrate my 4 months with Fiona!
Thanks for reading and cheers! Xxx