My Recovery So Far

I’m not sure how these posts are coming across but I don’t want people to think I’ve led a miserable existence because I haven’t.  In fact I’ve had an absolute blast some weekends and lived a nice lifestyle with a lot of freedom!  I’ve met some amazing people, some not quite so amazing and ended up at some weird and wonderful places I’d never have dreamt of going to sober.  Somebody messaged me the other day saying “I didn’t realise your life was that bad”.  Hahaha! You couldn’t be further from the truth!!  It’s the after effects of my drinking that was the problem.  Alcohol was causing me to have severe anxiety and depression.  I would make awful decisions that resulted in ridiculous and sometimes dangerous situations.  Like I’ve said before, if I’d have carried on like that I’d have ended up ruining everything good I have and wouldn’t have had much of a future.  I just wanted to clear that up 🙂

Like everyone, I have my good days and bad days.  I just choose not to broadcast the bad bits because I don’t see the point and I don’t think it’s very helpful for anyone, definitely not me.  I did have some crappy news yesterday though.  Nothing major but I’m still not sure how to deal with this stuff.  I would usually have wine or go for a few drinks somewhere to drown my sorrows and this is the exact reaction I had but it’s a strange feeling when you have to remind yourself you can’t.  So I spent most of the morning looking at my phone/tablet/laptop when I should have been out running.  I was basically like a sulking 8 year old!  Thankfully I did have something planned.  I went for lunch with a friend and had a wander around the shops and then did nothing but potter about for the rest of the day overthinking and analysing stuff that doesn’t really matter.

Today was definitely different.  I hate wasting my days so I decided to get my arse into gear and go for a walk.  It was absolutely freezing but such a gorgeous day.  There’s nothing better than taking myself off for a walk and doing some exploring.  I know I’ve been here since September but with it being winter and I’m working all week I haven’t really had chance to get out as much as I’ve wanted to.  Keeping myself busy definitely does the trick and it stops me thinking about drinking, it stops me worrying and overthinking things that don’t really matter and totally clears my head.  By the time I got home, I had just enough time to shower and get changed to go and see The Greatest Showman.  We went out for dinner too!  I’ve had a lovely weekend but today has definitely been a good day.  All I needed to do was to get outside and clear my head.

Time to put my phone and tablet on silent, shut my laptop down and watch a film.  I waste far too much time looking at screens but I’m working on it 😉

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Claire ♥ xxx