My Recovery So Far

Since I’ve let everyone know about my drink problem one of the most asked questions is “did it really get that bad?”

Unfortunately, it did. I forged a lifestyle that fit around being able to drink when I wanted to, which clearly isn’t a good thing. I’ve always been a sociable person but over the last few years my social circle had become one of folk I hardly knew but always saw them at the bar. My Facebook posts full of people I don’t know and I once overheard a ‘friend’ commenting on this. She did me a favour actually as it was another little kick up the arse that I needed.

“she’s always posting selfies but she doesn’t know any of them”

Now I know this was a bitchy thing to say and I do believe there was some jealousy there but regardless of all that, she was right – I was regularly socialising with people I didn’t know, on my own! I laughed it off with “they certainly knew me by the end of the night” which was also true *cringe*.

There are lots of reasons why I decided to quit alcohol. In fact there’s probably too many to list. Straight off the top of my head these are just some of the things I was thinking …

1. I’ve had a drink problem since I was about 18
2. I don’t want to be a failure
3. I want to lose weight
4. I want to get healthy
5. I’m sick of being skint
6. I want to travel
7. I want to get my own home again
8. I want savings
9. I want to make my family proud of me
10. I don’t want friends to ignore the phone anymore because they know I’m drunk
11. I don’t want to be the one posting crap on Facebook at 2am, clearly wasted
12. I want to succeed in a job
13. I hate depending on alcohol
14. I want to reduce my anxiety
15. I’m sick of feeling depressed
16. I want to feel happy
17. I want a decent night’s sleep
18. I want to wake up feeling fresh
19. I want to look my best
20. I want to find joy in all the little things in life again
21. I want to make a relationship work
22. I want my body to repair
23. I don’t want to hide my problem anymore
24. I don’t want another trip to the hospital because of drink
25. I never want to wake up with a hangover again
26. I want to stop smoking
27. I want to stop wasting money
28. I want to stop feeling guilty
29. I want to stop hating myself
30. I want to live a long life

Surely that’s enough to do something about it? I was scared. Really really scared because I thought life would be boring without alcohol. It definitely isn’t but that’s for another post …