If you’ve nothing nice to say…

I’ve really struggled this week and it’s the first time I’ve had thoughts about drinking since I stopped.  I thought about why it might be.  Obviously the fact it was the anniversary of my dad’s birthday on Saturday hasn’t helped.  I’m probably only just dealing with the grief of his death and the sadness of it all properly now as other years I’ve hit the bottle and drowned my sorrows.  I had some crap news at the doctors as well about some damage I’ve done to myself through drinking but it’s repairable so all good! Apparently it’s not unusual to have these ‘having a drink’  feelings around 4 months sober so I’m just trying to go with it.  I don’t want a drink and I’m not going to have one … it’s just a weird feeling I’m getting.  I’ve spoken with people who’ve been through similar and they seem to know what I’m talking about so I guess it’s ‘normal’.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering about the title.  I got a shitty message today from some idiot basically saying that I’m an attention seeker and congratulating me on not killing myself. “Do you want a medal?” he said.  I cannot for the life in me think of why someone would want to go to the effort of sending that message knowing that they’re probably going to cause some sort of upset.  How do these people get a kick out of doing that?  I get a kick out of complimenting people and leaving nice comments just in case it makes that person feel great for a minute.  Obviously he’s another little keyboard warrior after a bit of attention but, why???!!!  I’ve a sneaky suspicion he’s got a drink problem himself so maybe it’s just out of jealousy.  Whatever it is, it blows my mind that someone would want to be so nasty to someone else who is clearly having a hard time.  I’m one of the lucky ones, thankfully.  I had the best upbringing I could wish for.  My parents taught me what respect is and my mum always told be to treat people how I’d like to be treated myself.  I’ve always tried to stick to this and although I do speak my mind (which sometimes gets me into trouble) people who actually know me know I would be mortified if I ever unintentionally upset someone – even if it’s a stranger! I say unintentionally because sometimes some people deserve a good telling.  Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, if you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing at all and keep your shitty thoughts to yourself.  I don’t rant very often but I feel better after letting it all out.

I’m going for blood tests tomorrow so hopefully the next post will include good news!

Keep spreading the love, people! Xxx

10 thoughts on “If you’ve nothing nice to say…

Add yours

  1. Best of luck with the blood test.
    It doesn’t matter too much why we think about drinking. What we do with those thoughts is what counts.
    As you pointed out your Dads anniversary the bad news at the doctor etc. each of these on there are own are difficult to cope with. But you did cope with them without needing to drink.
    I say well done to you for doing that. Each day sober is a huge achievement for people like us.
    You can already see the benefits of living sober. There will be many more benefits over the years.
    Keep doing what you are doing and the days will roll into months and years.
    As for “keyboard warriors” – non illegitimi carborundum.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Do it for yourself hun never mind what a selfless person says. A lot of good people can relate to what you say. I am a non drinker and always have been but i can still relate to what your saying. Keep it up you are a good person, and you will come out the other end it just takes time. Xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross once said ” the most beautiful people I’ve known are those that have known trials , have known struggles, have known loss, and found their way out of the depths . You are on the way up from the depths , you should be so proud of yourself x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Claire well done hun well yes you deserve a medal for speaking of your illness and hopefully this will be seen by someone els whom are in the same or worse situations but the good thing is that you’ve been woman enough to stand strong and admit your problem so that you can address it and like when we have messaged before people who have nothing good to say are the people hiding there own problem or who find it funny to bullie people who are a little unfortunately in a darker place than others so stand proud stand tall and like you say if they have no nice words of wisdom to help you stay strong then there opinions don’t mean jack. Everyone has a skeleton or two I know I have three or four but there’s always light and someone stronger to hold your hand or believe in even when there not here in person x Steve

    Liked by 1 person

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